Fan of (in no particular order) Doctor Who, Monty Python, Good Omens, procrastination, Howl's Moving Castle, sun-warmed blackberries.
Gryffindor: Do what is right
Ravenclaw: Do what is wise
Hufflepuff: Do what is kind
Slytherin: PUT A FUCKING BASILISK IN THE CASTLE
Through a Mirror, Brightly AU crossed over with WTNV. Spoilers for the new episode.
Bruce Banner is Beatrice and nonbinary. Carlos is a scientist.
…So I completely forgot to include the line. Oops.
Unsurprisingly, the desert was hot, and Bea kicked at the sand. Fury had said there was something odd in this area, so they’d flown out alone to take a look.
And the answer was, for all of Fury’s readings, the desert was hot and filled mostly with blinding sun and cacti.
Holding the cell phone in one hand and shading their eyes with the other, Beatrice Banner scowled. The readings were useless, sometimes saying one thing, sometimes saying the other. Which would have been enough to catch their interest anyway, but now the compass was being useless.
Turning, Bea started to retrace their footsteps and stopped in shock.
There was someone standing in the middle of the desert.
“Hi,” the someone said quietly. “You look lost.”
Bea blinked. “You could say that.”
The other groaned, shoulders slumping. “I’m lost too.” They clasped both hands in front of them and then nervously let them fall to their side.
“Excellent.” Bea sat down. “I’m Beatrice.”
Giving them a look, the other sat as well. “Carlos. Where are we supposed to be?”
Bea frowned. “Arizona. I think. But my compass—” They waved their phone. “Anyway, so probably Arizona. Where are you supposed to be?”
“Night Vale,” Carlos said, in a way that sounded automatic, and then paused. “Which you’ve probably never heard of and that makes total sense, I’m just a bit overly hopeful and anyway, are you going somewhere in particular in Arizona?”
Bea paused for a long moment. “Well, I’m getting the same readings that this area was supposed to have, so that probably means I’m in the right spot. Except that now I can’t get out.”
Carlos nodded. “Well, I can find north using a piece of string and a drop of ant blood, but I don’t see any ants here.”
“Ants don’t have blood,” Bea said, unable to let the inaccuracy pass.
Carlos gave them a strange look. “Yeah. I know that.”
Bea scratched their head. “And even if they did, why would a drop of anything on a string point north?”
“It’s—” Carlos sighed, looking down. “It doesn’t matter.”
Bea fiddled with their phone. “Sorry. I’ve seen a lot of odd things myself, I shouldn’t disparage anyone else’s. If it works for you, that’s good enough.”
Carlos smiled slightly. “What kind of odd things have you seen?”
They snickered, glancing at the other. “I’m a biochemist.”
Carlos grinned. “Really? I’m a scientist too.”
“And when I’m angry, I turn into a giant green monster.”
There was a long silence. “Well that’s a new one,” Carlos said finally, “but my boyfriend has that beat.”
Me: Urgh, twelve hour shift. Might as well listen to a podcast.
Me: Might give that Thrilling Adventure Hour thing a go, no idea what it's like, but they did a live show with the Night Vale lot, sooo....
Me: Heh. That Sparks Nevada theme's pretty catchy.
Me: Man. Most people can only dream of a relationship like Sadie and Frank's.
Me: I'M FROM EARTH
Me: WHO CARES WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEARTS OF MAN
Me: ALSO I'LL HAVE MY 100 LASERS
Me: Oh fuck I've found a new thing to burble on about that no-one I know is interested in and I'll have that Sparks Nevada theme stuck in my head until the last recorded syllable of time
Me: Robot fists tho